I haven been really writing anything really important in my so called blog for some time now. I guess i have had my mind in other places and just lost track of time. I guess i have been lost in my own mind enclosed and surrounded by music, music that make me feel empty and whole at the same time. It’s really a frightening thought at times.
I’ve been mostly working on other peoples websites and projects as either a consultant or the main contractor. In a sense i really enjoy doing that type of work, but also it’s a bit tiring and it closes me off from the world, in a bad way. I get consumed by building or designing a website or several. In some sense it’s a process that takes some time to fine tune and develop things just how you, the designer wants them, since you should be the one knowing what works etc. Sometimes i doubt my ability in that area.
After spending most of my time since the birth of the new year, behind a computer more or less 15-18 hours per day on weekdays and 17-20 hours on weekends, it takes a toll on the mind and the body. I gained weight from 118kilos to now a staggering 133kilos and i do not feel to well, i have trouble sleeping, relaxing, bowl movements, eating, breathing and staying focused. I have to loose weight and i have to do it fast, cause things are heading downhill right now. It seems.
I took time of from work to work on a few websites this past Wednesday and today it’s Sunday and i have spent no more then maybe 4-6 hours in total on the websites, due to the fact that i’ve felt so damn lousy and really off. Yesterday, Saturday, i was only awake around 8 hours, the rest i was asleep. That is a sign of bad health and lake of sleep, if any, right ?
Can one be overworked and exhausted by designing and developing websites ? I think so, since i’ve been there and i’ve done it. It isn’t funny and you really feel like shit. Pure shit. But, i have promised myself to take it more easy and loose weight for more reasons then just better health, i need to loose weight to be able to feel better about myself and also be able to have energy left for personal care and personal projects and things like that.
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